I have had this heavy heart for a little while, not because I am sad but just touched and feel very appreciative. There is a former teacher of mine from high school who has been so supportive to me lately throughout my struggles of raising my boys and all of my tiny accomplishments along the way. Most importantly, she has often said the she is proud of me... Ahhhhhh.... (eyes welled up, hand on my chest).. SHE IS PROUD OF ME!!!!!! The crazy thing is I don't think she knows how much it means to me when I receive accolades from her. I have told her but I am not sure whether she truly understands. You see, I never thought that I was smart at school. Very often I would get a "barely passing" grade in most of my subjects except Food and Nutrition, Home Economics and Arts and Crafts.....(go figure)..... Funny enough I see why because my passion and what I am good at is anything to do with creativity. It's what makes my heart race and keeps me up at night with excitement. Sciences, Foreign Languages and Math scared me to the core and I always failed.
I was not skinny, girlie or pretty enough to be chosen for the dances, rather I was animated enough for the skits and plays.. I was very popular at school because I was inquisitive, funny, and empathetic towards others.. not because of my accomplishments in academics or sports. What this teacher doesn't know was that I was always nervous when it was her period to teach me. It was particularly horrified and embarrassed because she knew my mom and if I am not mistaken either she or her cousin who also taught me attended my mom's school and here I am dumb as a bloody post. I was very insecure and would often break out in hives until my scalp bled out of fear.
So now, almost 18 years later, she is one of my biggest fans, supporters, encouragers. She sends me little messages when I am MIA for a while just to check in and make sure everything is ok.... and despite the fact that we a very close in age, the reverence that I feel towards her far surpases what is expected of a young person to close in age mentor. It is layered because of so many reasons that I didn't know or feel back then when I was in school, but I have grown to appreciate now that I am an adult, a mother and now have children who will hopefully have the opportunity to experience with the many teachers who they will meet throughout their schooling.
Thank You Miss T. S-S and God Bless!!!
