Answer..

Response to
Bring back that Groovy Feeling
Embarrassed

Hi Lisa A,
                  First of all one question at a time. That is your problem to begin with.. you are too impatient. About your embarrassment and fear. This is so simple. Rather than have fear of the "unknown" why don't you call the HOA and find out what you are able to do with the mattress and where you could place it. Tehre is no way in hell that your children are the only ones who soil their mattresses in the surburb. Also, you placed the thing at an angle that all your neighbors could see it. It's like putting holey panties out on a line to dry. You could have placed the thing flat on the ground directly where the sun shone. At least it would be less conspicuous. Also, for crying out loud go out and buy 2 more mattress liners and for God's sake stop putting them in the dryer. The heat is melting the plastic. Remove all the clothes from the rack in the laundry room and lay the newly washed liner over the rack to air dry.
                 About bringing back that feeling...sigh... Girl it was Winter, even in Florida. You know darn well that the last thing your husband was thinking about was anything romantic outside in that weather so relax yourself. Secondly, you know that you have to stop hovering over those children as much as you do. You allow them to take too much control over the house and your time and it is because they know they can. Create a routine that includes yourself and your husband where you know that you plan in advance what you all will eat or drink, do the mock set up and when they fall asleep, just start putting things into action. When you chose this home, you were so meticulous about the features that you wanted that you could gain from. So far you have used those features to your benefit maybe once. It's right there. You don't have to travel far of  pay to get it. It's right there. The same amount of energy and time you invest in preparing for people to come over and many times you don't even get a chance to enjoy what THEY are enjoying, you need to start putting that energy into yourself. Lastly, don't compare your lifestyle of your past with your lifestyle of the present. It's like apples and oranges. You wanted a convertible Jeep Wranlger too and piercing all over your body but you don't want that now. That ex of yours if you remember said that you were not black, now you have yummy chocolate children. Your carefree and inquisitive attitude allowed you to be wise to so much, and made you make mistakes that you know you will not likely make now and has prepared you for the ridiculously whirlwind of a life that you are living right now. It is time to invest that creative brain of yours into yourself and your husband and the kids will be just fine. You truly underestimate them and yourself.

Bring back that groovy feeling..

Dear Lisa B,
Do you remember when I dated T#$D, we used to sneak away to Fort Lauderdale beach on a Sunday and listen to the live band play in this little shack while drinking a couple cold brewskys. We would then lay on the sand, gaze into each others eyes and smile. Back then I wore the skimpiest little bikinis. My hair was naturally highlighted by the sun, my skin was sun kissed orange from all the baby oil and tiny shorts I wore and I never wore a bra because my breasts were so tiny. He thought I was so beautiful and was intrigued by everything about me. I was such a flirt..hehehe.. I was confident, I seemed to command presence when I entered a room and I was giddy. Now 12 years later, married (not to him), I wear a "Miracle Suit" swimsuit, I have spider veins on my pale stubbly legs, I can't seem to find a bra with two different size cups, I realized that I was dumb as F"$K back then. Didn't know diddly squat. What is interesting is that you were always there with me but I never wanted to listen to you or even talk to you. I thought I knew it all.. Idiot... Love was sex. Now sex is watching "In the Bedroom" with Dr. Berman with my husband sitting 4 feet away from me with the "Logmeister" stretched horizontally between us on the bed, and us discussing how we may relate to what all those couples are going through. Who would have thought that this sex kitten, unmarried, girl would be able to re-evaluate what love from a man is in a totally opposite way when she got married.. Isn't that something? However, I need you to tell me what is keeping me from sneaking away to my beach (pool), with my cold brewsky (which is so much cheaper at Publix in a 6 pack than at the shack), with my current boyfriend (husband), who thinks I the sexiest kitten out there (poorjab), and I want to play "Chugjug" by Family of The Year.. all the time.. I know I haven't given you a chance to respond to my last request but could you work on that one also?

Embarrassed

Dear Lisa B,
                  The beauty about autism is that it doesn't choose race or financial status. I was just wondering how the celebrities or wealthy with severely autistic kids cope with all the disgusting sides of this disorder. Do they get anxiety about their elite circle of friends stopping by when they child just had a feces smear fest? Do they buy mattresses every time their kids soil them?.

                                                      This is one of my son's mattress ...

 It's day three of it being outside on my lanaii. I have scrubbed, rubbed, Febreezed, bleached, Gained.. I am so embarrassed because all the newly built homes overlooking our house are sold and occupied. The house directly overlooking our house which has been vacant for over a year just became occupied. I wonder what they are thinking of us? The ghetto family accross the way? Yeah I know I can't think of what people think of me but I have pride. I am really embarrassed. I can't afford to to buy a mattress every month. What am I supposed to do? I can't get angry with him because it's truly not his fault. I am so frustrated on top of that, I have anxiety that I will be written up by the HOA about it. It's stuff like this which causes people to be kicked out of their homes because it's breaking their laws. How frightening but what else can I do? Just another contributor to that constant brick on my chest that never goes away.

Introduction

Many of us have conversations with God when things feel a little off balanced in our life. I speak to God and my second Gemini twin Lisa B. I have realized that for most of my life, I have always seemed to have advice for others because it is easy to step away from their storm and evaluate their situations objectively, but when it comes to my own, I am constantly drowning. It's probably because in my family, so much relies on what I think and what has to be done. What works for me, as quirky as it may be, is to step out of my body for a while and speak to my subconciousness (Lisa B) and the advice that I, (Lisa A) would typically give others, Lisa B will give to me.. It is almost like a diary but it will be moreso a dialogue. It is here that I will be able to speak more of my kids and family dynamic, what works and what doesn't.. Enjoy..